Train to Live on Mission – Week 41
Battle Drill #41:
Manage your Household Well!
Proverbs 31:25-31 (NAS95)
Today, we are going to walk through the four action steps of a soldier’s training routine to learn Battle Drill #41 – “Manage your Household Well!” Interestingly, this is one of the requirements of church leadership. As Paul taught his protégé in 1 Timothy 3:5, “but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” Before you complain that this is coming from a West Pointer and former military officer, I forthrightly acknowledge that I am bent this way in my personality type and professional training. I assure you though that this is a biblical exhortation and an important battle drill as you will see from today’s teaching of Proverbs 31.
Allow me to explain by using another example from my days as a paratrooper. Last week, Pastor Ken closed out the service talking about how those who jump out of airplanes trust the people who pack their parachutes. What he probably doesn’t know is that the soldiers who pack our parachutes are called Riggers. They are a special group of paratroopers, but do you know why we trust them with our chutes? Is it because they have a title, wear cool red hats, or have special training? Partly, but titles, education, cool clothes, and training are not enough to trust someone with your life! There is only one reason we paratroopers trust them; it’s because their Commander requires them to regularly jump their own parachutes, randomly selected from all the parachutes they have personally packed. They have an awesome responsibility, for which the Army has given them authority and recognition, but then holds them accountable to ensure they are willing to put their own lives on the line, just as we are asked to do. Their willingness to submit to their Commander builds trust with the rest of the paratrooper family!
The same thing is true in the church! James 3:1 emphasizes, “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.” While you may appreciate my specialized training, high levels of education, two decades of pastoral experience, and various titles and recognitions, what truly matters is that I submit myself to God, the Commander, for what I teach from the pulpit, how I conduct my ministry, and live my life. I must jump my own chute every day – my Commander requires it of me! Am I teaching the Field Manual accurately? Am I walking the talk and living up to the Field Manual myself? I will incur a stricter judgment. That should never be forgotten nor taken lightly by me or you – that’s part of me counting the cost in answering the call! Have you counted the cost of your calling?
Christian leaders must live lives that are worth following! Over thirty years ago, when I was learning about leadership as a plebe at West Point, I was taught this simple rule of leadership – “Look over your shoulder, if no one is following you, then you are not a leader!” After three decades of holding various leadership positions in numerous organizations I have found this to be true, but especially in the church. If your Christianity is not worth following, then no one is going to be convinced to follow the Jesus you preach. This is nowhere more visible than in our households, at home and in the church, so let’s learn how to manage our households well.
Action Step #1) Know the Field Manual.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
We know what the Field Manual says, let’s now take the second action step to learn how to apply today’s battle drill to our everyday lives as good soldiers of Jesus Christ.
Action Step #2) Train together as one unit.
- You will be a person of character (25a).
- You will face the future with hopeful confidence (25b).
- Your will not only live wisely, but your words will be wise (26a).
- You will be a kind person (26b).
- You will manage your household well (27a).
- You will bring value and meaning to the work you do (27b).
- You will be a blessing to your children (28a).
- You will be faithful and praiseworthy to your spouse (28b-29).
- You will bear the good fruit of God that comes from fearing the Lord (30).
- You will leave a godly legacy (31).
As verse 31 concludes of the book of Proverbs, “Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” You will reap what you sow! Your life will reflect that which you were devoted and the works of your life’s devotion that survive you will proclaim that truth.
Proverbs 31 is emphasizing the role of a wife and mother to her family, and the blessing that her well-managed household is on the entire community. She represents a life in submission to God. This passage demonstrates how we are to answer God’s call on our lives as a Proverbs 31 people. The Proverbs 31 woman is an embodied picture (a metaphor) of a faithful life. Some of my favorite biblical imagery about our relationship with God, and how we are to live, is found in this kind of familial language – we are the children of God! This family-oriented imagery cultivates a deep security of identity and a profound motivation for managing our lives according to His wisdom, as the beloved of Jesus communicated in 1 John 3:1-3:
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.
There is a deep intimacy to be had with God when we understand Him through terms of such endearment, which is why Proverbs 31 leverages the image of a Jewish wife and mother, the one who manages her beloved household. A similar usage of embodied wisdom is Proverbs 6:20-23:
My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life.
Clearly, the foundational unit of God’s household is the home. This is the tried-and-true way of God’s people, generation to generation, generation after generation, as instructed through the Shema in Deuteronomy 6:4-9:
Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This is God’s intent for each of our households. Our households are a training ground for the mission of God by learning from Proverbs 31 parents how to become Proverbs 31 people. Let’s now turn to the third action step.
Action Step #3) Seek the Commander’s approval.
How does a baby bond with its mother? How do children learn to trust their parents? Why is it parents or grandparents expect to have influence over their children and grandchildren? It’s all about building trust by first responding to their cries, then providing for their needs, then discerning their wants. The proper management of your household is about relationships because the Kingdom of God is a relational kingdom! We see the priority of relationships in the New Testament’s household codes for God’s family. There is clear teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-19. These passages are immediately followed by clear instruction on parenting, emphasizing the parent-child relationship in Ephesians 6:1-4:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (cf. Colossians 3:20-21)
Parents, before you apply this to your children, you must first ask yourself if you are a Proverbs 31 person – are you submitted to the Commander in your mission? You must apply the household codes to your relationship with God as your Father, where you are the child, and He is the Father. His will for your life is that you mature in the discipline and the instruction of His Word for His glory! Therefore, you must learn to observe all His commandments, just as you expect your kids to know your expectations and obey. The people of God, as the children of God, shall not forsake the Word of their heavenly Father, but memorize it, meditate upon it, and apply it to their everyday lives. As we’ve seen, this is learned in the household of God – at home and in the church! Are you reaping at home what you are sowing with your heavenly Father? The same question can be asked of us as a church family.
This is the power of the Bible’s familial imagery – it is an embodied metaphor that helps us experience the security of our identity as God’s children and the motivation of living as loyal participants of God’s covenantal love. As one author explained of the household codes:
Relationships within the household thus become a concrete expression of what it means to live under the lordship of Christ. … It gives mundane household relationships an entirely new focus and motivation; the way Christians behave toward others is an outworking of Christ’s lordship over the community (Col 3:17).[1]
The Christian household is where mission begins – to manage one’s household well is to live on mission because you are training up your children to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ! A child’s god-ordained chance at life and blessing is to live according to the training their parents give them. Are you managing your household according to God’s priorities? Just like a child honors his or her parents by obeying them, we are to seek our Commander’s approval by managing our lives, and the church, according to His Word so that we may live on mission for God. That leads us into our final action step.
Pray, then, in this way: “Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”
Why this familial language in the book of Proverbs and throughout the Bible? Because children represent their parents – you are image bearers of God (Genesis 1:27)! We are commanded to train ourselves to live on mission for God and the only way to do that is to put ourselves willingly and wholeheartedly under the instruction and discipline of the Lord, just as children are commanded to put themselves under the authority of their parents. There is a rightful authority that flows from Heaven to Earth, through parents to children. With this authority comes the responsibility to do so as a men and women under submission, who are willing to be held accountable to how they managed their households.
We are to be the mature adults who can do this, which is why the embodiment of wisdom, as given to us in Proverbs 31, is of a Jewish wife and mother who manages her household well. The church is the household of God on earth and our mission is to invite all who will listen and accept all who receive, but we don’t stop there because we are then to help the family mature in Christ so that we can live on mission together. This process of raising up new Christians into spiritual maturity follows the example of the family, which requires the same anguishing hard work and commitment to the family. This is the calling of every member of the body of Christ. We all, at one time, were little children in the faith, but we must grow up and pass on what we were given to others who will grow up and pass it on (2 Timothy 2:2). This is the mission!
When we live according to this battle drill, then we, like the Proverbs 31 woman, will leave a faith legacy of praise to the One who called us to Himself. As Revelation 14:13 declares over the life that is lived on mission for God, “‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on!’ ‘Yes,’ says the Spirit, ‘so that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow with them,’”